The Thorns of a Rose
by AldoubleA
Summary: You can never be on a high road in life forever, and Valerie Anne Carter is finally realizing that the roller coaster ride is just beginning. (I promise Dean will appear more in the story)
1. Chapter 1 -Forget Forever

Jonathan and I were just teens that were always talking about our future together, like we had any clue. We were lying on the grass outside the school building, looking up at the clear sky as the time went by. We were finally done with our time there, but we just wanted to hang around in "our spot", probably for the last time. I turned to my side and silently admired his features to myself. Many would not find him anywhere near good looking, but to me, he was more than perfection itself. The way his sandy blonde hair shines; it sometimes covered his face because it was a bit too long, but I liked it that way… Well, honestly, it is only because I could make an excuse to put it back. His sea blue eyes that I always find myself lost into because of the depth of the waves it held. His smile that he hid most of the time because he hated… That was my favorite. It was like I'm lucky enough to be one of the people to see that million dollar smile that could light up any room it walks into. He was slightly tanned, and moderately built, since he was working out a lot. Whereas for myself, I was just a half his size, black hair, palest skin, and dull brown eyes… I never figured out how we ended up together, but I was just happy that we were. I smiled to myself as I took in his presence for the billionth time.  
"Hey, what are you staring at?" His husky voice startled me.  
"You," I said, in a matter-of-factly. I saw a smile starting to creep onto his face. He looked down at me, and kissed my forehead.  
"You are such a dork." He poked my side, before getting up. He pulled me up, and started dragging me with him… We ran together to nowhere.

Months later, Jonathan had to go for training to join the military, which means I barely got to see him. But I kept myself busy by having my own training to do. I was aspiring to be a female wrestler. (_Weird, I know) _But I admired those women and their strength, and I wanted to be taken more seriously. I was already a step ahead with my agility, since I was into gymnastics at school. Although, it was not easy (_not that I thought it would be),_ and I have been knocked down more times than I could count. I knew it would be worth it though.

One day, I was sitting at home for some time off after injuring my leg in the ring. I was sitting with my mum, just watching some television program that did not interest me at all when we heard the doorbell chime. My mum got up to answer the door since I was not in shape to do it myself. I could hear mumbles, and soon she came back with an expression I couldn't quite make out the meaning of.  
"Honey, the door is for you."  
"Let them come in." I shrugged, wondering why she hasn't.  
"I think you should answer it."  
I did not want to argue with my mother, so I just got myself up with all the force I had in me and walked to the door. It is only 10 in the morning on a Tuesday-who could even be visiting at this time?! I opened the door and I gasped.  
"Missed me?" He stood there in his attire, nothing has changed since the last time I saw him. Well, except for the fact his hair is groomed. I managed to jump into his arms, with tears in my eyes while nodding my head. It has been forever since I have seen him with his big, goofy grin.  
"What are you doing here?" I mumbled into his chest. He pulled me away so I could look him in the eyes.  
"I missed you." He shrugged, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
"I missed you too, silly." I wiped my happy tear away while letting out a soft laugh before taking a hold of his hand. I was just about to pull him into the house before he stopped me. I turned around and saw the look on his face change to something unreadable, and I felt my stomach drop.  
"What's wrong?" I mumbled, not understanding his actions. He shook his head and let go of my hand, backing away from me.  
"Jon, what is-," I saw him get on one knee and my voice dropped to a hush tone, "happening?"  
"Val, you're the love of my life, and everything that I ever wanted." I turned around and saw my mum tearing up. I looked back and it finally struck me.  
"I've never done anything like this in my life, but only because it would not be appropriate if it was not for you," He looked down and got a box out of his jacket. I felt my heart about to burst out of my chest, "Valerie Anne Carter, would you marry me?"  
I felt the world stop at that moment, and I don't recall if I said yes but I remember jumping into his arms for the second time, totally forgetting about my injury, and kissing him. I also recall the way he put that symbol of our love, and that we are officially sharing our lives together until eternity, on my finger. It was the best moment of my life because I was now Valerie Anne **_Good_**, Jonathan Good's wife.

Everything since that moment has been great. He's finished training and has been called up, and so have I. We have been happier than ever in these past 5 years that have went by like a blur, everything we ever wanted has been there. I was finally getting into the "big company", also known as WWE. Only thing is, sadly, a few months after being there, I found out that I was pregnant with Jonathan's child. It is not like I wasn't happy, no; I was over the moon that our love would only grow. But that doesn't mean I felt sad that I had to put my career on a standstill for a while when I just started. I was just glad that they understood my situation.

One thing that actually bothered me though, was the feeling in my gut. I was nervous since I haven't told Jonathan the news. I haven't seen him for a while, and I wanted to wait for him to come back so I could share the news. I was constantly tapping my foot while waiting for him at the airport-and my mum was there assuring me that everything is going to be alright. I kept looking at the time, and I swear it was _dragging by the second_. After a while we saw that a group of his colleagues passed by and there was absolutely no sign on Jonathan anywhere. I turned to my mum who kept repeating that he might be stuck with luggage. I tried to take in what she was saying but there was a bad feeling in my stomach, and I knew it wasn't morning sickness. Something just didn't feel right. I pulled out my phone and called him, but all I got was "sorry the number you're trying to call is out of service". I took in a deep breath and tried to push every negative feeling away. In a matter of minutes, he will be here, and we will share the news and be happy.

As the time passed by, the very last man left the lane and he looked familiar. He was a close friend of Jon and I, his name was Matthew. I saw him coming our way, with his head hung low and heavy steps. He wasn't his usual cheeky, joking-self, which worried me. When he finally reached, he looked at me with sadness in his eyes and took his cap off and shuffled. I could tell he was struggling with getting the words out.  
"I…" He chocked. I looked at him begging for an explanation. He took a deep breath before he continued saying, "We lost him… I'm sorry."  
His words barely came out as a whisper but I heard him loud and clear. I shook my head and looked at him as if he had three heads or something.  
"M-my Jon? You're telling me he…" I felt my voice started to crack. I turned to see my mum had her mouth covered in shock and her tears spilling out.  
"No. No! He is fine!" I felt a dry laugh come out, "Why are you crying? He is fine, isn't he?"  
I looked back at Matthew who couldn't even look me in the eyes and continued, "He is probably in the back, he talked to me last night… So he has to be fine!"  
"ISN'T HE?" I grabbed him from his jacket.  
"TELL ME! TELL ME HE IS OKAY!" I started punching him and he did nothing to stop me. I could feel a thousand pairs of eyes burning a hole into my skin. But still, I continued until I fell to my knees, and that's the moment my whole world came crashing down. I shut my eyes and mumbled, "Tell me I did not lose him…"  
**_"I'm sorry."_**

I felt a tear fall down my cheek as I stared into the darkness. I haven't been able to sleep all night, feeling the numbness take over my senses. That tear, however, was the only thing reminding me that I'm still alive, because I've felt nothing at that moment. The only thing I sensed was the ringing in my ear, those words repeating themselves like a stuck cassette, and it is all I've been hearing since then. I remember the look I got… The way people _pitied_ me, they feel _sorry_ for me. My own mother couldn't even look me in the eyes anymore-not that mine held any emotion what-so-ever. I took a deep breath, not wanting to face or remember it until tomorrow… Then I felt myself lose focus and drift off again…


	2. Chapter 2 -Fear

I was slowly getting lost into the dark abyss of my thoughts, letting it consume every inch of me, until I was drawn to the soft knocks on the door. I would lie if I said I hoped it would be Jonathan coming through the door with that big goofy smile spread across his face, because I knew it was never going to happen… Well, not anymore. It was probably just my mother telling me it is time to go to my husband's funeral which was today. I knew the cold harsh reality, and even though it stung, it was better that I did not reject it anymore. I slightly shifted my eyes to have a clear view of the door that has not yet even cracked opened slightly. I assumed it was perhaps because my mother was hesitant to see me, since I was not myself anymore; she was oblivious of how I would react. When he walked in quietly, I swear my eyes felt like they were about to pop out of my head. I jumped up and ran into his arms and cried. My non-so-identical twin brother, Alexander, held me in his arms for a while until I eventually let go.  
"Hey you," He whispered, I shook my head as more tears cascaded down my cheeks and hugged him again. He let out a soft laugh, "I missed you too."

I don't remember the last time I saw Alex; I think it was a few years ago. We both parted ways when we both went after our careers. Alex was modelling for a while, whereas I flourished into my job as a professional wrestler. Sometimes, people swear we are opposites and that we aren't even siblings, let alone twins. But honestly, I know we were more alike than others like to believe.  
I felt myself being dragged to the bed and sat down; I took this as a chance to look at him properly. I can tell he slightly changed, his face being a bit more defined and he wasn't wearing makeup for a start (_Don't ask_). But that was not what I was really concentrating on; it was the fact that I knew why he was here. I sat there quietly, not want to say a thing to ruin this moment. I just wanted to be around the only person that understands me more than anyone ever could.  
"Mum called and…" He paused, pursing his lips together. I knew it was hard for him to say anything, but he continued with the only thing that he could say at that moment, "I'm sorry."  
"I know." I looked down as I felt my eyes regain that familiar stinging sensation they have felt.  
"She is really worried about you… I'm worried about you," He pulled me in for a side embrace, "but here is the deal, I promise that I'm not leaving your side until you're at a hundred and ten percent again."  
I weakly smiled at him and watched as he got up, "I know this is hard but you need to get dressed… I think he would have wanted you to be there."

I couldn't listen, speak, or function as a human being anymore. All I felt was emotionless during the entire thing. Alex was there holding my hand and rubbing circles into the back of it for comfort, while a million thoughts circled through my head at once. I looked around at all these unfamiliar faces, when I saw Jonathan's family standing at the side with the same expression as the one I held. I walked over to them and they just nodded their heads at me, acknowledging my presence. I can tell that they were still in disbelief, and that none of them wanted to admit that this was all really happening. When they lowered his coffin to the ground is when everything began to sink in, and his mother was in hysterics. I just held her as she shook, knowing that she finally realized that she will never get a chance to see her son again.

All I heard was her screams on replay echoing through my mind as I sat there staring at his grave. Everyone has left by now, well, everyone but me and Alex. I was still not pleased that my dad couldn't make it because of his work… He knew how much this would mean to me. Well, I was not that surprised since he didn't really like Jonathan that much and might have used work as an excuse to not show up, either. Furthermore, my mother went back home to prepare a meal that would probably not even be touched or seen by me. I sighed as I re-read his name engraved into the tombstone... I felt something warm wrap around my shivering body, right after I felt the wind hit my back and I took in a sharp breath.  
"Hey, do you want to go home now? It's starting to get cold… But, whenever you're ready, just tell me." After a few minutes of silence, we got up and left, and I haven't turned around… Not even once.

I was awake all night, not that I was surprised. I randomly had outbursts where I would just cry and yell for no reason what-so-ever, and I was glad that every time it happened Alex was there to comfort me. It happened so often that at some point, he ended up staying on the couch in my room. I looked at him sleeping with those bags under his eyes. I felt horrible for being the source of his lack of rest.  
"Alex," I whispered, checking if he was fully under the trance of his sleep. When I heard soft snores, I slowly got up. I didn't really have a clue what I was doing, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. I wasn't bothered to get dressed, so I just put on a hoodie, grabbed some of my belongings and tiptoed out of the house.

I wandered around the empty streets aimlessly, until I found myself in the aisles of our local supermarket, looking at some hair dye while holding a pair of scissors. I laughed to myself at the thought that just popped into my head; Jon never liked my blonde hair. He hated it ever since I had to dye it for my stupid gimmick. He always told me I looked beautiful without having to change who I am for the sake of "business". Although I denied it, I wasn't that big of a fan of it too… And even though the roots have already grown out, that blonde still hair existed. I twirled a piece of my hair around my finger and cocked my head to the side. It was finally time to get rid of it. I grabbed the box and went to the cashier who looked confused, and slightly terrified at this insane-looking girl showing up at this time of the day to purchase these materials. I paid him quickly and hurried out, getting sick of his judging looks. _Who the hell does he think he is? What gives him the right to look at me in that way? _**He doesn't even know what I'm going through.**

I ran back home, heading straight to my bathroom to begin my transformation. I didn't understand the thoughts that were floating around in my head at that moment, because I believed that getting rid of my hair was going to change me. It was going to make me stronger, because to me, this meant a fresh start… Well, that was what I had in mind and honestly I couldn't tell if it was true or just some myth I created. I began dying my hair back to its original color, dark like the night sky.  
After washing it and drying it off, I held the scissors in my hand and looked back at my reflection. I didn't want to be myself. I wanted to get eliminate my past and my pain. I was done with trying to have it all and ending up with not much at all. I started trimming a piece of my hair, and felt a tear fall down. With my soft sobs filling the quiet air, I continued cutting my hair, until I heard the door fly open.  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Alex ran over to me and grabbed my wrist to stop me. I was suddenly snapped back to reality, as I dropped the scissors and looked at myself again. _**Who was this person?  
**_"What is happening to me?" I mumbled, looking down at the chunks of hair lying on the ground, and at my own hands that did this. I turned around and saw Alex standing there confused, but his eyes reflecting sympathy, knowing that this was done with a source of pain behind it.  
"Val,-" I cut him off by storming out. I felt dizzy, suddenly realizing that I don't remember the last time I had something to drink or eat. I was walking down the stairs before hearing my name being called out once more and footsteps following me, until everything abruptly went black again.


End file.
